"MONSTER LOCATION" scouting (nostalgia and fear follow)

for some reason i am compelled to make something of an update if any of you still even happen upon this thing- i really hope you do(see title) and i am even more compelled to make this succinct so no one gets bored but my brain is literally being inundated by information right now....HERE GOES:

first off- there are ants coming out of my keyboard all the sudden. it's like some fucking German expressionism film in here but it somehow makes sense. it's been damn hot in this city and i finally got this AC window unit thing outta my sisters car and up here in queens so my room is...literally freezing and i love it so much....yet all this scary shit the past few days...i've been feeling literally scared(referring to title of post)....so i delay going into my room cause i know ill be in here alone with the door closed to keep the cold air from escaping...why???
i attribute it to recent episodes with bugs (e.g. before-mentioned ants in keyboard) and literally burying myself in research on some of the most horrendous crimes the world has ever seen SPECIFICALLY unlawful and extended incarcerations (e.g. silvia likens of Indiana and this woman in AUSTRIA who was kept in a cellar for 24 years by her father who was also having kids with her...? katerina...thoughts?!?!?!?!)
so thinking about people being locked in basements plus the bugs (i also woke up and saw what i thought were silkworms burrowing holes in my arm a few weeks ago. i ran outta my room and saw pete and was like DO YOU SEE ALL THESE MARKS ON MY ARM DO YOU SEE ALL OF THIS???.....residual dreaming i suppose) makes me wary of coming in here no matter how cool and refreshing it is.
also-i'm home alone tonight WTF. so i'm writing a blog...which is already too long. dammit. well here's the wrap-up.

we were location scouting in INWOOD PARK today, which is at the very northern tip of manhattan...in theory...but when you get there it's unreal. as michael warned us, "YER GONNA FUCKING SHIT!!!" while we were driving up there.
And strangely enough we're like hiking up these huge rocks and things once we get there and all i can think of is KOREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA:
honestly, new york city...and manhattan of all the boroughs...looks like fuckin korea man. and of course i get all nostalgic(again, title) and freaked out when i realize it's been almost a year since i first arrived there and met all of you and now my life has changed literally hundreds of times over since that day as well. even when i think of january now it's like i was some other person living some other life.
things are exponentially better than they were this winter, yet for some reason standing on a stupid rock throws that all out of balance. i'm suddenly involved in this huge endeavor-and by 'huge' i can only refer to the immense amounts of planning and work that lie ahead...oh, and i have literally no clue what i'm doing. so i'm like....should i really be doing this? was this meant to happen or something? i dont fuckin know. if i think about it too much i freak out.

to conclude i miss you all a lot and i get reminded of it all sometimes...especially today. despite how i may sound in this post, i am indeed excited about what's happening now, regarding the projects and whatnot. it's just that i'm in completely uncharted waters right now and everythings' only in its most fetal of stages......

including what i hope is gonna be an actual screenplay, which i'm supposedly starting this week.....which the real reason i keep reading about criminals. so rest easy. and call/contact me...like right now.....please?

love yous.

QUEENS OR BUST

i'm moving queens tomorrow. it feels good saying that cause i'm like...actually living there...for a year...and no more air mattress, but like with a legit bed. bnnngggggg

all i gotta say is, after all this crap-east village then no more east village, brooklyn? nope. brooklyn again? NOPE. friends.jersey city- is THANK YOU PETE for making this all possible. my nomadic days are over. cut to me living "the family life" in the lovely neighborhood that is Astoria, Queens. fuddy-duddy me? perhaps, cause it sure beats the hell out of "my life's a mess" thing.

that being said, this photo is all i've seen of my new digs. brick, big window, virgin mary statue standing proudly in a patch of ACTUAL EARTH?!?! (this is so kickass btw cause we can like...grow tomatoes)....oh yea and my roommates pete n' james (left to right) respectively. so i guess this will be all the more exciting when i get there tomorrow. yeaaaa

as far as being a culturally-curious person- i need to see some serious movies. like...i mean all of them. i'm way behind in that respect. i just keep watching freaks n' geeks at home and night of the living dead.
speaking of which- i started reading World War Z and it is....i mean i hate to sound like the blurbs on the cover of the book but in 2 words: gripping. reading. although i should emphasize "gripping" in the way a cold, dead hand would grip with rigamortis in full swing. there is actually a scene where this is described early on in the book...i dunno it's terrifying in its descriptions and even more so in the whole "first hand account" style that it employs. It's so much more effective this way cause you're just reading these passages and getting totally tricked into thinking its real. (cough house of leaves).
reading this waiting for the subway/path train really added to it cause its totally like...one of those places where in the event of a zombie outbreak would either be a sanctuary or a total death trap. i walked all the way down to the end of the station platform to distance myself from the people...and this guy was totally peeing wtf.
i'm not too far into the book though beacauuusseeee........

i started reading james' scott pilgrims and like...just forgot about everything else. so i read 2 outta the 4 and i was gonna go straight into 3 but was like..."waaiiit....save these!" cause i really can't explain much more than the fact that they just like...i dunno cheered me up? cant explain it. so yea i'm thinking there will be a time, probably during a queens commute where i'm gonna just feel like...well i dunno but i'm not gonna want to be thinking about zombies. so then i'll be like "ok time to break it out".

it'll be good to read 'em especially cause i havent listened to like anything new in a WHILE. i need some new music in my life. help?

LOVE YOUS

maximum city

my blog's gotten real boring upon my return. i too am jealous of hannah, pat and peters entries on their trip of a lifetime to Southeast Asia as well as james' shiny, happy life (the book reviews are great though, man). i would document my complete undoing, although, like i said, camera's broken. i'm living the nomadic life right now. usually i'd be like "SOUNDS COOL!" but in this city, it's just inconvenient as fuck. my situation, however, has yeilded an assload of rekindled friendships/concerns/new friends and things of that nature so i guess that's pretty neat.

amy, ryo, crystal, james-thanks for chattin with me on the phone when you can. yer all like little rays of sunshine, ya know...which is amazing cause new york has gotten....frigid.
yeaaaaaaaa

so it's like 10:30am and i'm at my friend lisa's place and she's already left for work/class cause she's one of those wonderwoman types. i mean literally like...saving the world. she's a social worker and was kind enough to put up with my antics last night; i went completely batshit after emerging from my bathroom phonecalls with ames and james. (i was in there a while, which actually worked out though...for her boyfriend at least).

but ZOINKS her dorm's in the financial district so check out this view:

this is what gives you vertigo. we're something like 23 floors up i dont even know...

so that's all i got, i'm a creep who takes pictures in people's rooms when they aren't there. this is my life, i guess. oh, there's class too....which only started yesterday. i got korean in a little bit so i should get going....emerge from hiding and join the rest of 'em out there....ya know the living?!?

what am i talking about.

i love yous.

"got killed by 10million pounds of sludge from new york and new jersey..."

the pixies. yes, good. and relevant.

so HERE I AM IN JERSEY...how happy do i look?!??! went to new york to ring in the new year hagoh ALEX (here he is at 'the apartment') and later SETH SSI (not pictured) i had to use my old camera since mine broke and i hate it cause then it eventually broke later rendering all new years 2008 memories unseen...except this one of course: so yea no real shots of new york cause as i was walking down the street in daylight all i wanted to do was ya know...not be walking on the street and shut myself in the apartment and never come out until nighttime. we have a complicated relationship. and my building has rusty fire escapes: and the apartment has no/limited space (not pictured: ROOMMATES garrett, lucy i'm such a creepster, im sorry) fire hazard, definition of: this is where i used to sleep, sorta. bahhhhh so yea good to start 2008 with alex,seth and others although i crapped out early due to the most MASSIVE HEADACHE OF MY LIFE (12 hours duration, wet-paint fumes induced). but good nonetheless....

i've probably disclosed this to all of you at some point multiple times, but being back is really, really fucking weird...dont know what to make of each day im here and im sleeping a lot. pretty much i miss you all a fucking lot.

taking this further MISCELANEOUS CLOSE-UPS:

adorable-rediculous...yet all the while pensive: ryo-nocerous

wide-eyed and awesome: jake ssi

pretty as always: peter

equally pretty, extremely focused and/or neon: james

though previously used cute and pretty are applicable here, but so as to emphasize how much you wanna hug her when she makes this face: amy dela

also wide-eyed, also cute...curious silvia

"yea i used to be a child actor but behind these eyes i'm deep, fuckers." not an actual quote from pat but it should be.

badass. crystal...who i'm seeing in new york like...TOMORROW?!?!? fuck yea....we talked on the phone it was awesome.

not pictured: hannah-no close ups of you? guess i never thought to bring my camera to all our naps. which i miss like the dickens like i do YOU...love

also not pictured: me homeless in new york hahahahahahaha....no, seriously.

LOVE YOUS

싸움패

happy xmas my loves- my stocking from last year:
aannnnddd some happy pictures from happy times. LOVE YOUS

"it is the season of farewells" quoth alex

and i've cried like 5 times already today. it's currently 4am in korea...leaving for flight in like 2 hours...stuffs almost packed. gotta vacuum. got some chingoos in the air right now already. pat n' peter are passed out in my room snoring quite loudly. i gotta go fetch amy, hannah, ryo n' jake-having only snoring people in my room is not good for me right now. just kidding ryo's back. i wish i could find nina. she literally saved my life today helping me pack/throw all this shit out...shes amazing. so is everyone. aaahh losin it(see below)

for some reason i can't rotate this picture. maybe its more effective this way. i'm done. more coherence/photos to come. after im on a plane for like 18 hours of course.

i love you all.

DETHRATTLE

...or the "final throws" if you will. i dont like that it's already come to this...but i spose we've been here a while...i'm reminded of that everyday as it gets colder and the chingoos and i constantly deconstruct our relationships(how they've grown/changed et.al) complications aside i love you all.

everyday i wake up in my disgusting i-house room, i'm sooo glad i'm still here because i know i wont be able to say that for much longer. i was explaining this to alex last night in a state of near-delerium(sleeps been lacking) and he was all "what makes you like this place so much?" and my answer is pretty simple, i mean i've loved everything that's happened here.

i dont want to get prematurely emotional...there will be plenty of time for that(or no time at all) later...i should be studying or at least not hermiting it up in my nasty room. i feel like im in need of some sort of catharsis; everything seems so uncertain around finals in general cause its like your entire semester reflected in the actions and decisions made in just a few days. there's even more uncertainty about getting back to new york...my living situation etc. doesn't help to get e-mails like these:

Sent
Wednesday, December 5, 2007 1:41 am
To: Angelica G Jannone agj211@nyu.edu
Subject: it's official
Ok so I feel like I have been in new york long enough say this. I hate downtown and fuck the F line. Today I wasted 1 hour. 1 hour waiting for the fucking F. Not to mention that downtown is a complete shit hole. Nothing makes sense down there. Nothing. Anything past 14th is officially dead to me. How are things with you?
Andrew Edmund
my notoriously/endearingly demi-psychotic former manager at the movie theatre....ugh, new york promises to be a challange...perhaps more than seoul ever was. i'm trying to think positively and look forward to how i'm going to change my life in so many small, yet significant ways. i want new york to have a new connotation for me.
most importantly i want VISITORS...you know who you are. make it happen. you'll know where ill be.
dammit enough bummin for now. in the meantime, CHE-IL CHINGOOS! (see above).

LOVE YOUS